You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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