What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
