I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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