I'm jealous of your bromance
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
