I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
