I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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