why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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