I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
false alarm. still invincible.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize