I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Terrible idea I love it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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