he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
