Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
