Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
