If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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