i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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