I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
