He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
