ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
