i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
