summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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