chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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