so that wasnt chicken after all
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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