shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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