I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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