Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize