At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
