Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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