I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
