Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
