he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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