if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
