the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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