ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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