I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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