How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
