hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
