people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
