after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
