i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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