So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
