If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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