Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
