Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
