Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
