I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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