We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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