So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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