Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
