So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
