Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Help. Why am I so naked?
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