I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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