it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
