Can i not drive my cunt home
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
