I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
