Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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