I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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