at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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