Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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