You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
