i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
