Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he puts the penis in happiness.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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