I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
