i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
