Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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