Porn is love you can see.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My bed smells like the plague
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
