you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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