I'm passing your future prison.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
